at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
