take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
