when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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