im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
