why didn't you poke me back
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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