her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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