ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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