Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
