I am puke
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
