she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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