i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize