If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
