That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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