She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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