Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
