Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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