You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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