i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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