I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
