My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
