he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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