you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
