Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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