You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
