well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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