The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize