I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
