I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
