Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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