the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
