only if we run a train.
done.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize