i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
