I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
