Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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