dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well I just put wine in my tea
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
