I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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