How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
