To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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