Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
