I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize