we have officially lost it.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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