My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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