It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
