i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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