You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
