he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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