it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
