I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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