I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
