real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
