the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
