how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
