i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
