i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
