she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
