your room smells of hookers.
And success
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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