He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
