in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
