she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
