I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just pee around me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
