Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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