I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize