We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
