Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
