some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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